Podcast on Making Divorce as Peaceful as Possible https://www.partingproperly.com Wed, 13 Nov 2019 21:27:06 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.1.4 Podcast on Making Divorce as Peaceful as Possible https://www.partingproperly.com/the-man-alive-podcast-on-making-divorce-as-peaceful-as-possible/ Tue, 29 Oct 2019 17:13:19 +0000 https://www.partingproperly.com/?p=783  

Listen to the Podcast by Clicking the Play Button Below.

Right-Click the Link and “Save Link As” to download the file: Making Divorce as Peaceful as Possible

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WHY USE PARTING PROPERLY FOR DIVORCE INSTEAD OF PLAIN OLD MEDIATION? https://www.partingproperly.com/why-use-parting-properly-for-divorce-instead-of-plain-old-mediation/ Sat, 12 Oct 2019 01:54:28 +0000 https://www.partingproperly.com/?p=769 FIRST REASON: Parting Properly Mentors do much more than mediate disputes in a divorce. Throughout the process, they provide the emotional guidance, training, and support that empowers each member of the couple to make good, fair, far-sighted, and mutually beneficial decisions.  The involvement of a Parting Properly Mentor in a divorce reduces stress, eliminates delays, and brings down fees and costs.  Couples and children emerge with all the things they value protected and intact.

Conversely, mediation, by definition, is a method of “intervening” to settle disputes. Mediation overlooks the fact that divorce is not just about “disputes,” and that intervention, by itself, may actually disempower the husband and the wife, and hinder them from learning how to take responsibility for their own decisions.

Mediation, without mentoring, is like helicopter parenting, preventing the couple from gaining the skills necessary to properly move on with their lives, and inhibiting their ability to properly co-parent. That is an unintended consequence, but it often occurs.

SECOND REASON: Parting Properly is more efficient and significantly less expensive than mediation. There is a saying that “the devil is in the details.” That saying applies to resolving all the issues in divorce, including allocation of assets and liabilities, determination of support, if any, and co-parenting. Parting Properly Mentors are master teachers. They guide couples, and end up seldom, if ever, having to intervene.

Just mediating disputes ignores the nitty gritty of structuring the best possible way for the couple to meet the challenges of their current situation, to create a plan for each of their futures, and to provide for the best interests of their children. In the entire scheme of assisting couples to make the necessary life transition, mediation is inefficient and expensive.

In the short term, intervening to solve a dispute, rather than empowering the couple, usually leads to another dispute, and then another, and then another, and another, and another. Mediation becomes very expensive. Most mediators will not put a cap on their fees.

Mediation is also inefficient. Intervening to solve each dispute, without assisting couples to learn to resolve disputes themselves and to plan for the future, puts each spouse behind the eight ball, and places children in jeopardy.

Because an intervention leaves neither spouse fully invested in the result, delays and problems in the future are inevitable. If children are involved in a divorce, a relationship between the parents continues. They cannot afford to call a mediator every time some little dispute comes up. However, when parents learn the lessons taught by their Parting Properly Mentor, they will be able to resolve every dispute that comes up all by themselves.

Not only is mediation often more expensive than Parting Properly mentoring, it is less effective. Google shows, for instance, that the average cost of settling “a” dispute is between $3,000 to $5,000, and mediating each dispute takes about three to five days.

In 1962, a pop singer named Neil Sadaka recorded a number one song, BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO. In 1975 he recorded it again. It has been recorded by over thirty different American pop artists and translated into at least ten languages. It is a catchy tune, and the title resonates.

It resonates because it is true, “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do!”

THERE IS NO SENSE IN MAKING IT HARDER!

PARTING PROPERLY MAKES IT EASIER.

We have been taught, beginning in infancy, how to establish relationships with others. In kindergarten we learned about the social requirements of making friends.  Most of us have employed those lessons throughout our lives.

But what if a relationship sours? What do couples do then? Has anyone ever taught either the husband or the wife how to end a relationship?

Probably not.

Until Parting Properly came along.

Everybody gets instruction about how to create a  relationship with another person.  But almost nobody gets instruction about how to end a relationship when it becomes unworkable.

The question is, how do you end a relationship with the least damage?

It is certainly not by litigation, with a couple of separate battling attorneys and a time pressured judge.

It is not by having a mediator intervene to break up fights either.

The only rational way to end a relationship is the way taught by Parting Properly, which is the ideal divorce solution.

Couples need Parting Properly, because breaking up is not only hard to do, but any other method of dealing with marital breakups is  dysfunctional.

A court room is a terrible place to end a relationship. A husband and a wife end up paying two separate attorneys to argue with each other and then throw their lives into the lap of a judge who is constrained by the rules of evidence and the court imposed time limitations. See the blog FOLLOW THE ADVICE OF DIVORCE COURT JUDGES https://www.partingproperly.com/follow-the-advice-of-divorce-court-judges/ .

Mediation of disputes is better than litigation, but not by much. It does not get to the real issues of the life transition the couple is making. That cannot be done simply by intervening to deal with their disputes.

THE CRITICAL CHALLENGE OF DIVORCE IS TO CREATE AN ENVIRONMENT WHERE EACH MEMBER OF A COUPLE CAN BUY INTO THE FINAL OUTCOME BECAUSE THEY HAVE BEEN EMPOWERED TO MAKE THE DECISIONS THAT GOT THEM TO THE FINAL OUTCOME.

PARTING PROPERLY EMPOWERS CLIENTS. MEDIATION DOES NOT. Parting Properly Mentors have all the skills of mediators. But, mediation, by itself, is not enough.

There is a world of difference between mediation and the Parting Properly method which provides a couple with the tools and the guiding principles that allow them to solve their own problems.

PARTING PROPERLY IS THE ONLY FIRM IN CALIFORNIA THAT DEALS WITH DIVORCE IN THE MODERN, ENLIGHTENED WAY THAT EMPOWERS COUPLES TO AVOID THE ROCKY SHOALS AND SAIL OPTIMISTICALLY TOWARD A BRIGHT FUTURE.  PARTING PROPERLY TEACHES COUPLES THE PROPER WAY TO END A RELATIONSHIP.  IT IS THE IDEAL DIVORCE SOLUTION.

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EVERY DIVORCING COUPLE NEEDS A PARTING PROPERLY DIVORCE MENTOR!!! https://www.partingproperly.com/every-divorcing-couple-needs-a-parting-properly-divorce-mentor/ Wed, 11 Sep 2019 21:34:50 +0000 https://www.partingproperly.com/?p=750 Divorcing couples now have a new resource. A Parting Properly Mentor, who has been properly trained to escort them through the divorce process, is now available to every couple contemplating divorce. They no longer have to suffer the consequences of relying on separate, combative attorneys. They no longer have to trust in the unpredictable decisions made in the doomsday divorce court. They can save money, avoid unnecessary conflict, and move quickly and efficiently to a fair and mutually acceptable outcome simply by engaging a Parting Properly Divorce Mentor. Parting Properly will bring them from filing the petition to judgment less expensively, more rapidly, and with a better outcome.
MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONALS TRAINED BY PARTING PROPERLY TO BECOME DIVORCE MENTORS HAVE SKILLS THAT DIVORCE ATTORNEYS JUST DO NOT HAVE.
PARTING PROPERLY MENTORS ARE TRAINED TO GET COUPLES AND CHILDREN THROUGH DIVORCE WITHOUT CONFLICT, STRESS, AND TRAUMA.
COMBATIVE ATTORNEYS ARE NOT. THEY ARE TRAINED TO ADVOCATE.
PARTING PROPERLY MENTORS ARE TRAINED TO EMPOWER COUPLES TO CONTROL THEIR OWN DECISIONS.
COMBATIVE ATTORNEYS ARE NOT. THEY DUMP DECISIONS INTO THE LAPS OF TIME LIMITED, UNPREDICTABLE JUDGES.
PARTING PROPERLY CLIENTS SAVE MONEY!!!
ONE HIGHLY TRAINED MENTOR, WITH SKILLS AS A PROBLEM SOLVER, IS ENOUGH. CLIENTS DO NOT HAVE TO PAY FOR TWO COMBATIVE SEPARATE ATTORNEYS!
PARTING PROPERLY MENTORS ARE TRAINED TO MAKE DIVORCE AS CONFLICT FREE AND INEXPENSIVE AS POSSIBLE!
FEES OF PARTING PROPERLY MENTORS DO NOT INCREASE AS A RESULT OF CONFLICT AND DELAY, AS DO FEES OF SEPARATE ATTORNEYS.
PARTING PROPERLY MENTORS ARE IMPARTIAL AND UNBIASED AND EMPOWER CLIENTS TO SOLVE PROBLEMS. SEPARATE ATTORNEYS ARE EACH TRAINED TO FIGHT FOR THEIR CLIENT TO ACHIEVE VICTORY, WHICH, OF COURSE, INTENSIFIES CONFLICT AND DISTRESS.
PARTING PROPERLY MENTORS HAVE ENTIRELY DIFFERENT TRAINING THAN DO ATTORNEYS.
THEY ARE NOT TRAINED TO WIN A “ZERO SUM” GAME, WHERE, IF ONE “WINS,” THE OTHER “LOSES.”
THEY ARE NOT TRAINED TO BE ADVERSARIAL.
THEY ARE NOT TRAINED TO LITIGATE.
THEY ARE NOT TRAINED TO APPLY LAWS THAT ARE RELEVANT ONLY IF A COUPLE LITIGATES.
THEY ARE TRAINED TO IMPARTIALLY EMPOWER COUPLES TO REACH MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL OUTCOMES.
THEY ARE TRAINED TO SAVE COUPLES FROM THE DYSFUNCTION OF THE DIVORCE COURT PROCESS.
THEY ARE TRAINED TO TEACH COUPLES HOW TO AVOID CONFLICT AND RESOLVE PROBLEMS PEACEFULLY.
THEY ARE TRAINED TO TEACH THE PRINCIPLES OF FAIRNESS AND PRACTICALITY AND TO AVOID THE “ONE-SIZE FITS ALL” RESTRICTIONS THAT ARE APPLICABLE WHEN A COUPLE LITIGATES.
BELOW ARE EXAMPLES OF SOME QUALIFICATIONS OF PARTING PROPERLY DIVORCE MENTORS:
A GRADUATE DEGREE AND TWO YEARS OF INTERNSHIP, INCLUDING DOCUMENTATION OF 3,000 HOURS OF SUPERVISED TRAINING
SUCCESSFUL COMPLETION OF A TWO STAGE EXAMINATION ADMINISTERED BY THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA IN ORDER TO OBTAIN A LICENSE
ADDITIONAL HOURS OF TRAINING AND EXTENSIVE INTERNSHIP WITH COUPLES IN ORDER TO QUALIFY AS A PARTING PROPERLY MENTOR
CONTINUING EDUCATION AND EXTENSIVE TRAINING IN TEACHING WAYS TO REDUCE STRESS, INCREASE COGNITIVE CAPACITY, AND DEAL WITH RELATIONSHIPS
ON THE JOB TRAINING IN TEACHING CLIENTS HOW TO MANAGE PROBLEMS
YEARS OF EXPERIENCE IN TEACHING CLIENTS HOW TO DEAL WITH CONFLICTS IN RELATIONSHIPS
DEVLOPMENT OF THE ABILITY TO SHOW AND TEACH EMPATHY AND COMPASSION
EXTENSIVE EXPERIENCE IN TEACHING COMMON SENSE AND PRACTICAL DECISION MAKING
SPECIFIC TRAINING IN EMPOWERING COUPLES TO ALLOCATE ASSETS AND LIABILITIES FAIRLY TO REACH MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL RESULTS.
INTENSIVE TRAINING AND HANDS-ON EXPERIENCE IN EMPOWERING COUPLES TO COME TO MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL AGREEMENTS REGARDING SPOUSAL SUPPORT AND CHILD SUPPORT.
EXPERIENCE AND TRAINING IN THE BEST WAY TO STRUCTURE CO-PARENTING AGREEMENTS.
EDUCATION AND TRAINING IN CHILD PSYCHOLOGY.
PRACTICAL TRAINING IN HOW TO BEST TO DEAL WITH SMALL CHILDREN, PRE-TEENS, AND TEENAGERS CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF A DIVORCE.
TRAINING IN TEACHING PARENTING SKILLS AND STRUCTURING CO-PARENTING AGREEMENTS.

NOW, MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONALS  CAN NOT ONLY REFER COUPLES TO PARTING PROPERLY, THEY CAN RECEIVE TRAINING TO BECOME A PARTING PROPERLY DIVORCE MENTOR!!!
THEY CAN RESCUE COUPLES AND CHILDREN AND SET THEM ON THE PATH TO A POSITIVE FUTURE.
COUPLES WILL GIVE A MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL THEIR PROFUSE THANKS WHEN THEY ARE REFERRED  TO PARTING PROPERLY.
THEY WILL GIVE THE PARTING PROPERLY DIVORCE MENTOR THAT BRINGS THEM THROUGH WHAT MAY BE THE MOST DIFFICULT CHALLENGE OF THEIR LIVES UNDYING APPRECIATION.

Parting Properly was created to provide divorcing couples with highly trained professionals that have the necessary skills to bring them safely and less expensively through the divorce process. It is no longer necessary for divorcing couples to rely on attorneys who are not trained to resolve problems peaceably. It is no longer necessary for divorcing couples to put their lives in the hands of time-limited, unpredictable family law judges who have no personal stake in the consequences of their decisions.
Now, at last couples can feel safe as they follow the revolutionary, enlightened, modern path created by Parting Properly. Guidance on the path is provided to each couple by a highly trained, experienced, compassionate escort. The path is easier, smoother, and less expensive to travel. It leads to a destination marked by fairness, common-sense, and acceptability. It avoids the dangers of the divorce court. It offers hope for future happiness.
EVERY DIVORCING COUPLE NEEDS A PARTING PROPERLY DIVORCE MENTOR!!!
CALL (888) 765-4860
VISIT: https://www.partingproperly.com/ and https://partingproperlymentors.com/

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SELECTING A DIVORCE PROFESSIONAL IS ALL ABOUT TRUST. https://www.partingproperly.com/selecting-a-divorce-professional-is-all-about-trust/ Mon, 26 Aug 2019 18:54:34 +0000 https://www.partingproperly.com/?p=725 Why is Parting Properly considered so trustworthy?  The answer is simple.  There is a right way and a wrong way to end a marital relationship.  Parting Properly is the right way.

Parting Properly minimizes conflict, rejects litigation, fosters cooperation, reduces expense, and is impartial in guiding both parties to the solution to each problem encountered in divorce.

 Parting Properly’s enlightened method for bringing couples and children through divorce explains why Parting Properly is considered trustworthy.  Parting Properly’s willingness to put a cap on fees charged to complete the divorce adds to Parting Properly’s credibility.

In short, Parting Properly provides a compassionate,  modern alternative to the trauma of traditional court divorce.  Parting Properly empowers couples to benefit from cooperation and civility.  Attorneys and judges are taken out of the loop when it comes to making decisions.  The unpredictability of a divorce judgment is avoided, and couples control the divorce process, with the resources of Parting Properly fully and completely supporting them.

The alternative to Parting Properly is often a separate attorney for each party, whose combative, adversarial advocacy can cause conflict and delay, increase attorneys fees, and drag the parties down into the bowels of the doomsday divorce court.

Trust in any relationship is crucial.  Couples contemplating divorce will, almost universally, confirm that a loss of trust has been a significant factor in bringing them to the state where they have decided to end their marital relationship.

Incompatibility, annoying behavior, differing philosophies of life or goals, arguments over finances or children, and failure to communicate are often cited as the basis for the disagreements, or loss of affection or growing apart, or the failure to meet each other’s needs, or the intractable unwillingness to change, or a thousand other complaints with each other.  But, underlying all those rationalizations to explain the difficulty in which the divorcing couple finds themselves is a lack of trust in each other.

WHY THEN WOULD A COUPLE CONSIDERING LEGAL SEPARATION, ANNULMENT, OR DIVORCE APPLY CRITERIA FOR SELECTING A DIVORCE ATTORNEY, A FAMILY LAW FIRM, OR A DIVORCE MEDIATOR THAT DOES NOT MAKE TRUST IN THAT PERSON OR FIRM THE HIGHEST PRIORITY?

The answer to that question is not always readily apparent.  It can be said that it is usually a lack of trust in each other, in one form or another, that gets couples to the point of deciding to get a divorce.  That should give them a clue as to how important trust is in a relationship.  Yet, because of fear and uncertainty as they confront divorce, they still do not recognize that “trust” in a business relationship with the professional upon whom they will rely for decisions affecting their lives and the lives of their children is critical.

The trustworthiness of the professional providing counsel, which will be relied upon, is the key to successfully navigating the divorce, whether it is a contested divorce, an uncontested divorce, or a mediated divorce.  It is the key to successfully structuring child custody, child visitation, and child support.  It is the key to fairly dividing the divorce assets and allocating the divorce liabilities.  It is the key to reaching a mutually beneficial marital settlement agreement and a co-parenting agreement in the best interest of the children.

When asked how they selected their divorce legal counsel, couples who find themselves in the doomsday divorce court with separate divorce attorneys, often cite promises made to them of uncontested divorce assistance, quick and cheap divorce, flat rate divorce, family court mediation, or even free divorce (because the other side will be forced to pay).  They cite information received from friends or family about some divorce attorney they have heard of, or information garnered from the impressive website of the family lawyer they found on the internet, or the promises they received in the free divorce consultation about low cost divorce or divorce mediation, or their reliance on answers to questions regarding uncontested divorce in California, or their belief in a divorce attorney’s promises of low cost divorce.  Or, even more surprising, they admit their naivete in believing the promises their divorce attorney made that the judge’s decision in their favor could be predicted.

Couples acknowledge that they often accepted advice and guidance and acted upon it because they were afraid not to accept it, and they were not confident enough to take responsibility for their own decisions. They often cite the fact that they were hoping for divorce without court appearance or some form of collaborative divorce or divorce mediation that would get them through the process quickly, and they were fearful that they would make a mistake if they tried a do it yourself divorce in California or objected or acted counter to the advice and direction of their divorce attorney advocate, to whom they had paid a large sum of money.

It is not surprising that, even when they were willing to pay thousands of dollars to a divorce attorney who promised to make their decisions for them and to get them what they wanted, they would never admit to fully trusting that divorce attorney.

They knew that there is a built-in conflict of interest between divorce attorneys who do not put a cap on their fees and their clients.  Since fees are normally based upon the hours of billable time that divorce lawyers expend on behalf of their clients, it follows that the greater the conflict and delay in the divorce proceedings, the greater the number of hours that will be spent in finalizing the divorce and the higher will be the fees that the divorce attorney can charge.  Obviously, clients do not want conflict and delay.  How then do they end up with divorce lawyers who can make more money by fostering conflict in divorce than they would make if they fostered negotiated divorce settlements?

There is a simple answer: Most divorce attorneys and family lawyers or divorce mediators will not put a cap on fees they will charge their clients.  Trying to reduce divorce fees and costs, clients want to know what will the divorce cost them.  But, since very few family law attorneys will put a cap on their fees, they have to take their chances.

When couples contemplating a divorce search for divorce attorneys or divorce mediators on the internet, what they find are the websites of a hundred competing divorce attorneys and family law firms, some of which have paid large sums to have their websites appear at the tops of the first pages displayed by the search engines.

Trying to find even one family law website that offers clients a cap on the fees the clients will be charged is a daunting, or, perhaps, impossible task.  That leaves clients vulnerable to fees resulting from conflict and delay in finalizing the divorce.  It makes it hard for a client to completely trust the professional from whom the client receives advice when the client fears uncontrolled fees for the divorce.

That is not to say that most attorneys lack integrity and will purposely file unnecessary motions or will needlessly argue over child custody issues, child visitation issues, and child support issues, or property division, or liability allocation, or alimony (spousal support), but the fact remains that the more conflict and delay there is in completing a divorce the higher the fees can be.

How much does it cost to hire a divorce lawyer?

The national average cost of a divorce is about $15,000.00 per person, including attorney’s fees, court costs, and the cost of hiring outside experts such as real estate appraisers, tax advisers, or child custody evaluators.  Posted Sep. 19. 2018

Lawyers.com Reported a Survey by Martindale-Nolo (one of the prime attorneys reference sites) conducted in 2018.

https://www.lawyers.com/legal-info/family-law/divorce/divorce-in-california.html

How Much Does Divorce Cost in California?

The most expensive type of divorce in California is one involving children, according to our survey results. When a California divorce involved child custody and support issues, the average cost was $26,300, including $22,200 in attorney’s fees. Compare these numbers to divorces without children in California, where the average cost dropped to $17,100, including $12,600 in attorney’s fees.

Parting Properly’s fees for getting a couple through divorce average less than half of the average fees paid by couples who do not use Parting Properly.

How Long Does Divorce Take in California?

The average divorce in California took almost 15 months to resolve, with most of our readers reporting that it took from 8 months to 20 months.

A few notes on timing: In California, the soonest your divorce can be resolved is six months from the time the divorce papers are served, because the state has a built-in six-month waiting period.

Parting Properly gets divorcing couples through the divorce process in less than half the average time it takes couples to get through divorce without Parting Properly.

How can couples decide the best way to divorce?

Well, they can start by searching for Parting Properly’s Ideal Divorce Solution.  The Parting Properly website https://www.partingproperly.com/ will not usually appear on the top of the first page displayed by a search engine in response to an inquiry for legal separation, or divorce mediation, or divorce attorneys near me, or divorce mediators near me, or uncontested divorce in California, or even low cost divorce, or mediation for divorce.  It will be necessary to input a search query for Parting Properly.

If couples contemplating divorce do find Parting Properly on the internet, they can, at no cost, call Parting Properly and ask a Parting Properly divorce mentor about the Parting Properly Ideal Divorce Solution.

Parting Properly has a divorce office near them, with offices available throughout the state,

The question is, how, in that call and the subsequent no-cost face to face conference, can a couple develop trust in the trustworthiness of Parting Properly’s method of getting couples through the divorce process quickly, efficiently, and at the least cost.

How will they gain confidence that Parting Properly’s Ideal Divorce Solution, will guide them to avoid conflict and reach agreement?  How will they develop the faith that Parting Properly’s involvement will result in a fair and mutually beneficial outcome for each of them?

There are only three questions they need to ask the Parting Properly Divorce Mentor.  Parting Properly’s answers will produce in the questioner trust, confidence, and faith that Parting Properly is the right choice.  The questions they should ask Parting Properly are the same questions they should ask any other person or firm they are considering hiring to bring them through the divorce.  However, the answers they receive from Parting Properly will be very different from the answers they will receive from divorce attorneys and family law firms.

The answers they will receive from Parting Properly will validate the couple’s decision to trust in the trustworthiness of Parting Properly, and will give them confidence and faith in the Parting Properly Divorce Mentor who will empower them and guide them to resolve all the issues that arise in the process of reaching the most beneficial outcome for both of them and their children.

The three questions are:

  1. What is your track record in representing both a husband and the wife, together, rather than representing one of them against the other?

Most divorce firms will not be able to answer that question.  They will not have any track record. Their failure to provide an answer may diminish the trust a couple can have in employing them to bring the couple through the divorce without the trauma of battle, and with all the things the couple most values intact.

Many family law firms and divorce attorneys tout their expertise and success in advocating for one of the parties.  Not many will have any track record of empowering both parties to make fair and common-sense decisions.

Almost all family law attorneys will try to impress a prospective client with promises of what they can do for the client that hires them, rather than what they can do to bring the couple together in a mutually beneficial way.  They trumpet their ability to fight against other, adversarial, and frequently combative attorneys, rather than their successes in moving quickly to obtain the resolution of differences between spouses.  In suggesting they can get what the prospective clients want, they ignore the unpredictability of what a judge will do in deciding divorce matters.

A Parting Properly Divorce Mentor, however, can respond to that question by pointing out that Parting Properly provides guidance and assistance to both the husband and the wife, together, and is totally unbiased toward one or the other.  The Parting Properly Divorce Mentor will emphasize Parting Properly’s track record.  One couple after another has been able to avoid conflict, save money and time, and reach a fair and satisfactory outcome, protecting children and enabling both parties to embark on a future with promise.  Parting Properly’s answer will validate each couple’s trust in Parting Properly’s expertise and ability to empower the couple to maintain control over the process, resolve conflicts, and successfully move on with their lives.

  1. What is the cost of the divorce going to be?

Most family law firms that have not rejected litigation actually flaunt their success in battling other attorneys.  Such firms will be totally unable to provide an accurate estimate of the costs that will be incurred by each of the spouses.  Their response to the question of how much is the divorce going to cost will be, “It depends.”  That is not a response that will provide any sense of relief to the divorcing couple and will not diminish concern that increased conflict and delay increases fees.  And, it will certainly not increase the level of trust.

Parting Properly will answer, “We will put a cap on our fees.  We can’t tell you what the exact cost will be, but we can tell you what the cost will not be.  The cost will not be greater than what we agree upon with you about the cap on our fees.  Parting Properly is willing to put a cap on the total fees that it charges.  In capping its fees, Parting Properly aligns its interests exactly with the couple’s interests.  Both Parting Properly and the clients are focused upon getting the divorce completed, with all agreements in place, in the shortest time and for the least possible cost.

Parting Properly can cap the fees that will be charged because both Parting Properly and the couple have agreed not to litigate.  Without the prospect of the unknown and unlimited cost of litigation, it is possible to estimate with accuracy how much time the Parting Properly Divorce Mentor will have to spend to bring the couple through the divorce.

Parting Properly has had enough experience bringing other couples through the divorce process within reasonable time frames so that Parting Properly has no hesitation in putting a cap on the fees that will be charged to the couple asking the question.  That alone is a basis for trust.  Putting a cap on the fees validates the couple’s trust in the trustworthiness of Parting Properly.  The couple can be assured that Parting Properly will make the divorce process as quick, painless, and inexpensive as possible.

  1. How much training have you had in dealing with the emotional aspects of divorce?

Most divorce attorneys cannot honestly respond that they have had any.  A few may claim to have received a few hours of training.

Divorce is made difficult because of the emotions that are involved, not because of the legalities.  Divorce is not rocket science.  If couples do not litigate there are only two rules they must follow. First: They must honestly disclose to each other all the information about finances; and Second: Any agreement regarding children must be for the best interests and welfare of the children.  Other than those two rules, parties that do not litigate are free to decide matters on the basis of fairness and common-sense rather than on formulas or legislatively established criteria.

If a divorce attorney confesses that he or she has received no significant training in dealing with emotional issues that often interfere with resolving issues in divorce, a potential client may assume that the divorce attorney will concentrate on the areas for which he or she has received training: aggressive advocacy and the interpretation of the law.  That will not provide much of a basis for the development of trust in the attorney’s capabilities to resolve issues without conflict and to hold down costs.

A Parting Properly Divorce Mentor will answer that he or she has received thousands of hours of training, and, in most cases, has had years of experience dealing with the very emotions that make avoiding conflict and settling issues difficult.  This is, perhaps, the best reason for trusting the Parting Properly Divorce Mentor.  Rather than fighting over the definitions set forth in laws passed by legislators that did not even unanimously approve them, a couple can reach decisions based upon fairness, common-sense, and practicality.  Parting Properly Divorce Mentors have been trained and have the expertise and skill necessary to deal with emotional issues and to bring the parties to the most advantageous result.  Parting Properly takes care of the logistics and legalities, and Parting Properly Divorce Mentors get couples through divorce quickly by never wasting either time or money.

Couples contemplating divorce can trust Parting Properly to do everything necessary during the divorce process to justify their trust.

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FOLLOW THE ADVICE OF DIVORCE COURT JUDGES!!! https://www.partingproperly.com/follow-the-advice-of-divorce-court-judges/ Sat, 10 Aug 2019 22:11:01 +0000 https://www.partingproperly.com/?p=711 DIVORCE COURT JUDGES WARN ABOUT LITIGATION. THEY RECOMMEND A METHOD LIKE PARTING PROPERLY’S IDEAL DIVORCE SOLUTION.

PARTING PROPERLY has created a unique step-by-step process to preserve assets, safeguard privacy, minimize fees, avoid delays, reach a mutually beneficial outcome, and protect children.

PARTING PROPERLY rejects traditional court litigation, with its separate combative attorneys.

Litigation, particularly if there are children involved, can have ghastly consequences:

Damage to couples and children   Incredible Expense   Endless Delays   Assets Wasted   Unnecessary Fights   Privacy Lost

Judge Donna Hitchens, former Supervising Judge, San Francisco Unified Family Court, warns: Litigation is an adversarial approach. It is expensive, tends to fan the flames of conflict, results in very personal attacks among the parties and is often limited to winners and losers by the end of the case.
Judge Marjorie Steinberg, who oversaw 45 family law judges and commissioners presiding over divorce cases in Los Angeles, agrees: Before you know it you’ll have a $75,000 bill from your lawyer and your husband will have an $80,000 bill and you’ll sell the house and you won’t have much left. I’m not blaming the lawyers, but litigation is not the best way to go for most of these cases.
Former Court Commissioner Marjorie Slabach, Recipient of a Family Law Judicial Officer of the Year Award, worries: I’m worried! I am worried about the family law litigant of the future…. the court system has not kept up with the needs of the litigant…. As the system works now, a judge coming into family court is set up for failure. The result here is an exhausted, anxious, befuddled judge who wants desperately to do the right thing and doesn’t have the time, knowledge or experience to know how to do it…. 

Judges praise alternative conflict resolution, as found in PARTING PROPERLY’S revolutionary, enlightened ideal divorce solution.

As Judge Steinberg said in the letter she sent out to every petitioner filing a divorce case in Los Angeles: There other ways that may help people find solutions that are mutually acceptable and may be preferable for several reasons: 1) You will directly participate in finding solutions; 2) You probably will be able to resolve your dispute sooner; 3) It may be much less expensive; 4) You may end the process with a better relationship with your former spouse; and 5) You will likely find it less stressful than court hearings…. If you have children, you must be particularly careful in choosing how to proceed.

Every couple contemplating divorce should call Parting Properly before they do anything else.

Divorcing couples who are unaware of Parting Properly are at great risk. For their own safety they should contact Parting Properly as soon as they consider a divorce.

If they end up with separate attorneys, they can find themselves on the sidelines as they are pushed farther apart, with everything they care about in jeopardy. They and their children may suffer the wounds inflicted upon them for the rest of their lives.

It is ethically imperative to give everyone contemplating divorce an opportunity to consider Parting Properly before they engage attorneys. After either the husband or wife hires an attorney, it may be too late.

Nobody else is doing what Parting Properly is doing. Nobody else will. Parting Properly is compelled to go forward, after seeing too much devastation from separate attorneys and time limited judges to be able to shirk the responsibility. Too many lives and the future of too many children are at stake.

Parting Properly empowers couples, and convinces even high conflict couples that the Ideal Divorce Solution is the better way. The results achieved are beyond wonderful. Anyone thinking about divorce, desiring more information, or wishing to refer someone who is thinking about divorce, please Call Us First. Parting Properly offers a FREE conference call: (888) 765-4860. We relieve uncertainties and calm fears.

We invite you. We implore you. Please call. Parting Properly will give you hope.

Even the best therapy and advice cannot save every marriage, but, by obtaining information about the Parting Properly method, which is the ideal divorce solution, divorcing couples may be saved from disaster, and given a chance for a promising future.

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IT’S ABOUT KIDS. IT MUST BE CHANGED. PARTING PROPERLY CHANGES DIVORCE. https://www.partingproperly.com/its-about-kids-it-must-be-changed-parting-properly-changes-divorce/ Tue, 06 Aug 2019 01:33:02 +0000 https://www.partingproperly.com/?p=690 Nearly half the marriages in California end in divorce (over 160,000 a year). Many divorcing couples have minor children. Dysfunctional divorce courts take control of their lives. Often, PTSD is the result, impacting their thoughts and behavior for years. Poor choices are made, addictions are suffered, and self-destructive behavior is common. Anxiety, depression, and social and relationship difficulties mushroom, and suicides occur. A potentially happy, productive, successful child, whose parents go through the traditional court divorce process, is introduced to an unhappy, unproductive, unsuccessful future.

What can be done?

Judicial oversight won’t work. At least it never has. Advocacy by attorneys without the skills to deal with emotional issues won’t work. In fact, it is often the cause. Media exposure of injustice, when it occurs in a divorce court, might inform, but it hasn’t resulted in changing the dysfunctional process.

Here is the question: Can we, in good conscience, let the dysfunction continue? If you don’t think about the children, you might say yes. But, if you consider them, the answer must be a resounding no.

Annually, the divorce industry in the U.S. generates over 50 Billion Dollars in revenue for governments, attorneys, and courts. Attorneys’ fees increase with conflict. Will the devastating process change by itself? Not likely.

How then is it to be changed?

“An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” A skilled and experienced Mental Health Professional, with proper training, can change the impact of divorce on parents and children. But to do so the Mental Health Professional must get involved in the process. In the past Mental Health Professionals have just waited for the victims to be forced by their mental health problems to come to the Mental Health Professionals after the trauma of divorce, when battling attorneys and time limited judges have already done their damage.

Mental Health Professionals require training to use their skills and experience in a new setting. Considering the size of the problem, they may have an ethical duty to obtain the training. The only firm that will prepare, train, and support Mental Health Professionals to use their skills to get couples and children through the challenges of the divorce process is Parting Properly https://partingproperlymentors.com/. No other firm exists that does what Parting Properly does.

A Mental Health Professional can be trained by Parting Properly to replace attorneys and judges in the negotiations during the divorce process. After training, they can bring their skills and experience in dealing with emotional problems to the rescue of couples and children. Parting Properly takes care of the logistics and legalities, and frees the Mental Health Professionals to do what they do best to help the otherwise doomed couples and children.

Couples, after agreeing not to litigate, can be empowered by a trained Mental Health Professional to make common-sense decisions during the divorce process, not after the damage has been done.

But, you might ask, why would couples, suffering pangs of unhappiness, fear, and uncertainty, believe a trained Mental Health Professional could help them. Don’t they need attorneys to make decisions for them? Isn’t divorce law so complicated that it takes a trained legal mind to decipher it?

The answer to that question is no. Divorce law is not rocket science. If a couple decides not to litigate, fairness and common sense can replace arbitrary legalities and definitions. As a matter of fact, if couples don’t litigate, other than the simple logistics, there are really only two requirements in order to get a divorce. Husbands and wives must make full, honest, and complete disclosures of financial matters to each other, and co-parenting agreements must be in the best interests of the children. That’s all.

Adversarial attorneys are rejected by Parting Properly, but the process of getting couples through the trauma of divorce is not based upon unwillingness to use attorneys in the areas where their expertise is required. For instance, before executing agreements, both parties are provided attorneys to explain the legal ramifications of what they have agreed upon. Legal requirements are fulfilled, and the Mental Health Professionals need not worry about them.

But, what if couples really want to fight? They usually don’t. But sometimes they don’t know how not to fight. Mental Health Professionals know how to teach them how not to fight.

An expressed desire to fight is usually based upon misinformation about the process. Sometimes one wants to punish the other, or gain an advantage, and, if they engage separate attorneys, trained to advocate, the attorneys often get caught up in their client’s foolish dysfunction. Conflict means higher fees.

Attorneys are not programed to sit down with the couple and explain that a divorce judgment cannot be predicted, that fighting is very expensive, and that, with just a modicum of reason and common sense, fair and mutually beneficial results can be negotiated and achieved without the need for attorneys and without leaving decisions to time-squeezed judges.

Often, unscrupulous attorneys actually encourage fighting, and collect large retainers, based on the assurance that punishment, in one form or another, can be enforced against the other party. They also suggest that, if the client doesn’t fight, the other party will take advantage. Then they pick up their battle axes. Even if the behavior of such attorneys is later exposed, they escape consequences by claiming they were only advocating.

When a husband and wife are relieved from the fear that they will be disadvantaged if they do not fight, and understand that decisions regarding children can later, as circumstances change, be modified, and recognize that there are emotional burdens that they will carry if they don’t lay down their big bag of revenge rocks, they start to reconsider fighting. When they are shown the cost of vengeance on their children’s welfare, they invariably reconsider.

Couples can always choose to litigate, but Parting Properly teaches them to keep that option for their last choice, not their first.
The Parting Properly approach to divorce is to teach correct principles and provide couples with the tools to apply them. Properly trained Mental Health Professionals are superbly able to facilitate that. Many attorneys are not.

Imagine two different scenarios, based on the following facts:

Jane and Joseph have decided to get a divorce. They have been married for over ten years, live in the San Francisco Bay Area, and have three minor children. Joseph has a well paying, but demanding job. Jane is a stay at home mom, engaged in home schooling the youngest child. The two oldest are in public schools. Jane and Joseph own a nice home in a good neighborhood, two nice autos, and some modest investments, including a time share at Tahoe. Joe has a pension that will vest on his retirement in twenty years. Jane contributed $150,000 of her inheritance from her grandparents to the purchase of the home. Prior to their marriage, Jane was a kindergarten teacher. Joe loves boating and they have purchased on credit an expensive fishing boat. They have the home mortgage, the automobile payments, the boat liability, and some credit card debt. They are both still living, separately, in the home.

We will leave the reason for the divorce unmentioned, but note that both are saddened, but firmly committed to divorcing and moving forward with their lives separately. They both love their children and have recognized that it will be important for them to remain sufficiently cooperative to co-parent them. But, both question whether they can.

Jane is frightened, unforgiving, vengeful, concerned, and uncertain about what to do to protect herself and the children. Joe, who is sometimes demanding, wishes to control the divorce process and the outcome. He also considers himself very fair, but he is a bit narcissistic in his approach to the relationship and the divorce.

When friends and family of Jane and Joseph learn of the impending divorce, they are concerned and full of advice. Jane is warned that she must protect her investment in the home, that she must retain custody and control of the children, and that she must be ready to assert her “rights” against Joe, who her friends do not fully trust to do what is right. Joe is warned the he, as a male, will have problems with issues relating to custody and visitation of the children and will have to protect himself from over-reaching claims by Jane for alimony and child support. He reacts with determination to arm himself with arguments that will influence or force Jane to give him what he decides is fair, and, if she does not, he is ready to go to battle in court.

Both Jane and Joe are aware that the financial burdens of two households will be significantly greater than the financial burden of one household, and both wonder how their financial futures can be managed.

Jane and Joe sit down together and try to work things out. Jane is more firmly desirous of divorce than Joe, which gives Joe a basis for believing he is occupying the high road. The working-it-out process, both in terms of the relationship as well as the divorce, is unsuccessful. When they finally give up, they are both depressed and angry with each other.

Because of their failure to achieve agreement, they assume that their divorce will be very acrimonious and unpleasant, and they have no clue how it will turn out. All they know is that they already wish it was over. They have not considered the possibility that, if someone helped them to deal with their problems and provided them with the tools to do so, they could resolve all their issues in a mutually beneficial way, without the acrimony.

Jane and Joe don’t hate each other, and neither of them have nasty personalities, but the fear and uncertainty is already leading to arguments and distrust. They are both depressed and anxious, which, without competent emotional support, could easily cause either or both of them to become very nasty.

As you will learn, depending upon what Jane and Joe do next, getting through their divorce without destruction may become challenging, or even hopeless, or it may become a springboard for a successful future.

SO, WHAT DO THEY DO NEXT?

First Scenario:

Joe decides to be pro-active. He takes advice from a friend who has had a disastrous divorce and fills Joe with worst case scenarios. Joe then does some research on the internet and seeks a law firm that advertises its success in litigating family law matters. Then he makes an appointment, without telling Jane, and has a consultation. The attorney confirms Joe’s worst fears and tells Joe that he will have to fight. He quotes an anticipated fee of $25,000.00 to $30,000.00 to get Joe through the divorce in a way that will satisfy Joe. Joe goes home and tells Jane what he has done, and what he has learned, and how, if they have a fight, the attorney has told him he will win. In discussion with Jane he scares the liver out of her, and she refuses to agree to anything. Joe decides the next day to engage the attorney.

The day after Joe engages his attorney, Jane makes an appointment to consult and engage her own attorney.

Each attorney, after gauging the value of the assets to be divided and Joe’s income, demands a $15,000.00 retainer. Joe uses his credit card and Jane uses hers.

Jane’s attorney quickly files for divorce and immediately puts on the pressure by demanding that Joe reimburse Jane for the retainer and provide interim spousal and child support of $5,000 per month. Jane’s attorney also demands that Joe move out of the home immediately and that Jane and the children be given the right to remain in the home. Jane’s attorney threatens to file motions and go to court if Joe doesn’t agree.

Joe’s attorney tells Joe that he will have to use his best weapons and fight like a tiger. Joe’s attorney asks Joe if there is any basis upon which Jane could be found to be an unfit mother. He wants to use that weapon as a scare tactic. He begins to prepare a motion to be filed to grant Joe the right to stay in the home and require Jane to move out.

Jane and Joe are no longer talking with each other. The children are upset and frightened.

Motions are filed, replies are filed, and hearings are held before the judge. The judge, having limited time, and wishing to avoid making a mistake, appoints a child custody evaluator to determine how custody and visitation of the children should be structured in the interim and permanently.

Jane refuses to consider seeking employment as a substitute teacher or anything else. Joe finally moves out of the home, into an apartment, which, unfortunately, is miles from both his work and his children. The cost of the child custody evaluator is significant, and Joe is required to pay it. In the meantime, both attorneys have used up the retainers in the conflict and have each demanded another $10,000.00 to go forward. Jane threatens to go to court if Joe doesn’t pay the fee for her attorney. Jane and Joe are running out of money.

Since the parties have been cast into the roles of adversaries, it has been like pulling teeth to get Joe to disclose all the assets. The fights over what is community property and what is separate property are interminable. Each fight uses up more of the couple’s resources. The attorneys finally agree that, if the couple is to be kept afloat, a home equity loan should be obtained, in order to pay the couple’s expenses and the attorneys’ fees and the court costs. Joe’s boat will have to be liquidated at a loss, as will the couple’s time share and some of the other investments.

Because there is equity in the home, primarily because of Jane’s contribution of her inheritance, the bank agrees to provide the couple with a $75,000.00 loan. In signing the loan documents, Jane and Joe have not informed the bank that they are in the middle of a contested divorce proceeding.

The attorneys agree that disbursements from the loan must be agreed upon by both parties, but the first priority must be payment of attorneys’ fees. Jane has won the argument about whether she or Joe is an unfit parent, and the Judge orders custody to Jane, and determines that Joe is to have only limited, supervised visitation.

Joe is going crazy, his work suffers, he misses his children, and he now hates his wife. Jane has similar feelings toward Joe. She is in a permanent state of depression, and the children are suffering.

The case drags on. There is a dispute over valuation of the assets and Joe’s future pension. Expensive experts are engaged to testify in favor of each party’s contentions, and the time-limited judge is called upon to make another decision.

As far as we know, the divorce is still not final, the children are permanently traumatized, and there is no longer any hope that Jane and Joe can effectively co-parent them. In the meantime, the couple’s assets have been consumed in the fight, and both Jane and Joe are struggling financially.

Imagine what the future of Jane and Joe, and the future of their children, will be like.

Oh, if they had only known.

Second Scenario:

Joe decides to be pro-active. He takes advice from a friend who has had a disastrous divorce and fills Joe with worst case scenarios. Joe then does some research on the internet and seeks a law firm that advertises its success in litigating family law matters. Then he makes an appointment, without telling Jane, and has a consultation. The attorney confirms Joe’s worst fears and tells Joe that he will have to fight.

However, on the way home from the attorney’s office Joe stops by the therapist that he and Jane had previously been seeing in the hope of saving their marriage. The therapist has learned of Parting Properly.

The therapist listens to Joe and then suggests that it might be a good idea to call Parting Properly, just to find out what an alternative to engaging attorneys and going to court might be. The Geico slogan, “15 minutes may save you….,” comes to Joe’s mind.

Joe wrestles with his anger and his fears, but then he remembers that, so far, he has done nothing irreparable. He begins to think that spending fifteen minutes on the phone with Parting Properly before jumping off the cliff might be a good idea.

Joe calls Parting Properly and is advised about what Parting Properly does by a Parting Properly representative, who also collects Joe’s contact information. Joe is then advised to take a look at the Parting Properly website. The Parting Properly representative who took the call then advises Joe that a Parting Properly Mentor will call him as soon as possible to answer any questions and discuss Joe’s needs further.

The Parting Properly representative then calls the trained Mental Health Professional, who, having been trained and, having become a Parting Properly Mentor is residing in the Bay Area, and the Mental Health Professional agrees to call Joe. By the time the Mentor has reached Joe, he has looked at the Parting Properly website on his cell phone and has lots of questions.

The Mentor responds to Joe’s questions, using the Mentor’s training and understanding of how best to assist Joe. Joe provides some basic information, which allows the Mentor to begin a client information worksheet (address, contact information, employment, the general range of income and expense and assets and liabilities, his children and their ages, living arrangements, and other pertinent information). Clients, having been referred to Parting Properly, expect to be asked to explain their situation.

Joe is impressed that the Mentor can confidently tell him that, if he and Jane will let the Mentor guide and coach them, the Mentor will be able to get him and Jane through the divorce efficiently, with agreements completed within a couple of months after the divorce papers are filed and served, and with the cost of the divorce significantly less than the cost of retaining attorneys. The Mentor alleviates Joe’s fears, assures him that there is time at this stage to do some planning, and that the Mentor will be able to assist him and his wife to arrive at a common-sense solution to every issue. The Mentor also tells him that Parting Properly offers a free consultation with him and his wife.

The Mentor tells Joe that the Mentor can empower him and his wife to stay out of court, and avoid battling attorneys, a time-squeezed judge, and a child custody evaluator, and reach common sense solutions that will be beneficial to both him and his wife and his children.

Joe agrees to have Jane look at the Parting Properly website and the Mentor tells him that, if Jane is willing, the Mentor will meet with both of them. A follow-up call is arranged. The Mentor then calls the Parting Properly representative, provides the client information, and asks the representative to provide the location and availability of the office nearest and most convenient to both the Mentor and the prospective clients.

The next day, Joe calls. Jane has agreed to meet with him and the Mentor. The Mentor then tells him that at the meeting the Mentor will discuss fees, obtain a retainer, and execute an engagement letter which will require that everyone agrees not to litigate, and everyone agrees to make full and complete disclosures of all financial information. The Parting Properly office and time for the meeting is then agreed.

At the meeting the Mentor establishes a relationship with Jane and Joe, gives them appropriate assurances, has the client information completed, executes the engagement letter, and collects the retainer and the court filing fee.

The Mentor then provides the completed client information to a Parting Properly representative, after which the necessary documents to initiate the divorce are prepared and filed by Parting Properly attorneys or paralegals, and the process of resolving all the issues begins.

The Mentor tells the clients that the first step is to collect all the financial information available to them, including descriptions of assets, estimates of valuation, description, amount and terms of liabilities, information relating to income, and information relating to expenses. Since both of them have agreed to make full, honest, and complete disclosure of all financial information, and since the Mentor has assured them that working together will be more efficient and less expensive than resisting and creating conflict, the collection and sharing of information goes smoothly. When the information is collected, it is organized. If the assistance of a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst is appropriate, it is arranged.

In the meantime, the Mentor has been talking with Jane and Joe, separately and together, about their children, how to resolve issues about their living situation, and their plans for their futures. And the Mentor has begun the process of teaching them correct principles. The Mentor has been using the Mentor’s skill in helping people manage their emotions and the Mentor’s experience in steering people toward common sense behavior.

The Mentor then has Jane and Joe complete the “New Perspective Exercise.”

The New Perspective Exercise is explained in detail in the training. Each party lists their wants and needs from their perspective and that same party lists the other party’s wants and needs from what is believed to be the other party’s perspective.

Of course, the training provided to prospective mentors by Parting Properly in teaching prospective mentors the New Perspective Exercise is much more extensive and nuanced, but you get the idea.

The purpose of the New Perspective Exercise should be obvious, and a positive result can be predicted when a trained Mental Health Professional acting as a Parting Properly Mentor, who is skilled in methods of dealing with emotional challenges, is teaching the exercise to clients who have agreed not to litigate.

Stop here and consider why Parting Properly is so effective compared to a separate attorney for each party.

Can you imagine combative attorneys, trained as adversarial advocates, whose fees increase with conflict, using such an exercise to teach their clients how to solve problems. Not likely.

Any Mental Health Professional who has a passion to help victims who are drowning in the cesspool of the court divorce process, and a desire to expand their practice by taking advantage of this new opportunity, will change lives of the Janes and Josephs of the world, and their children.

After Jane and Joseph have finalized their New Perspective Exercises, the Mentor can begin to help them put things together. The agreements are memorialized, on forms provided by Parting Properly, for embodiment in the Marital Settlement Agreement and the Co-Parenting Agreement.
The Mentor guides Jane and Joseph on an exploration of possible options. Options are evaluated until eventually they are narrowed down to the ones that work best for both spouses. Getting to the final combination of options will involve compromises and concessions on both sides.

This is where the Mentor’s skill in recognizing and helping control human emotions will be critical. The Mentor does not have to be a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst to come up with common sense solutions, but Parting Properly’s CDFAs are available, if needed.

The problem-solving aspect of negotiation will begin at this stage. The problem to be solved is finding settlement options that address each spouse’s most important interests as fully as possible. With this focus, they will be able to negotiate by trading off acceptable options instead of getting locked into zero-sum bargaining, where one spouse’s gain is the other spouse’s loss.

In the final stage, the tentative settlement agreement and co-parenting agreement are put into writing and circulated to both spouses. Parting Properly provides templates. A memorandum outlining the settlement and summarizing the essential points of agreement will be used as a basis for preparation by Parting Properly’s attorneys or paralegals of a formal settlement agreement that will be filed with the court as part of the uncontested divorce case.

The Mentor and the clients will gratified that the results are fair and mutually beneficial, and the children are safe, and their future is assured. The mentor can be satisfied that Jane and Joe have been taught to apply correct principles (the kind we all learned in kindergarten, but may have forgotten) and that they have used those principles to govern themselves and retain their power over the process of making decisions. They have avoided much of the trauma and are prepared for their futures.

The paradigm of divorce for at least one couple has been changed. It needs to be changed for every couple.

If you, as a reader,have questions, or would consider becoming a mentor, please contact (831) 207-6782 (personal cell phone). or call Parting Properly at (888) 765-4860. Please visit the website: https://partingproperlymentors.com/

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Our way is the way of the future. https://www.partingproperly.com/our-way-is-the-way-of-future/ Mon, 18 Feb 2019 12:02:31 +0000 http://www.partingproperly.com/?p=609 Our non-attorney mentors have thousands of hours of education and years of experience in solving problems between people. They are trained to help clients avoid potential disputes and to deal with the challenges, legalities and intricacies of getting through the divorce process successfully.

Come back soon as we will be adding useful content and articles to our blog.

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We guide you through the divorce process. https://www.partingproperly.com/we-guide-you-through-the-divorce-process/ Mon, 18 Feb 2019 11:54:46 +0000 http://www.partingproperly.com/?p=604 We make sure you and your spouse have a complete understanding of all issues relating to assets, liabilities, income, and expenses. While spouses invariably have different perspectives, the bottom line is, and will always be, truth and fairness in the allocation of assets and liabilities and determination of support. The process of getting to truth and fairness is not easy, but it is rewarding. 

Children are entitled to care, protection, guidance, and love. Putting aside the problems that led to the decision to divorce, parents almost always have a better perspective than an antagonistic attorney, or a court appointed custody evaluator, or even a judge, about what is best for their children. Your Mentor will guide you through the process of deciding who will be the primary care giver, where the children will live, what visitation is appropriate, and how best to provide for their support, welfare, and best interest. 

Your Mentor’s decades of experience will provide you and your spouse with the insight to resolve the issues that, invariably, arise. 

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